Abdul and Achmed

(with original artwork by me)

The scene is an underground room buried somewhere deep within the mountains of Afghanistan.The room is nearly bare except for two metal folding chairs located directly in front of a long folding table littered with newspapers, both American and Middle Eastern. On the wall, directly behind the table, is a bank of television monitors tuned to various news programs originating from stations all around the world. Al-Jezeera, CNN, MSNBC, BBC, and even FOX news, etc.

Achmed sits at the table, poring over news reports from The United States.

Abdul enters, stage right.

Abdul: Praise Allah, and Mohammad his holy Prophet! What news, Achmed, my friend?

Achmed: All praise and glory to our great and wonderful Allah! Abdul, I have very good news! Allah has blessed us for all our hard work in our holy jihad against the infidels!

Abdul: Allah be praised! What good news, if you please?

Achmed: The wonderful and merciful Allah has granted us, by His grace, an extended vacation! We can take the next 18 months off, to recuperate and regroup.

Abdul: Praise indeed to our Holy God, Allah, who has honored us with this wonderful sabbatical! Which of our relentless attacks against the infidel has earned us this highest of honors?

Achmed: All praise to Allah, for His mercy and Judgment! Allah is great and knows all, for he has provided us an ally in American government, who has at last rewarded us for our effort and announced America's surrender!

Abdul: Praise Allah! What ally is this, my friend and battle mate?

Achmed: All honor and praise to the great Allah! Our new American ally is none other than the new American President, Barack Hussein Obama! He has announced he will remove the infidel armies from Iraq! And, praise be to Allah, he has told even us when they will leave!

Abdul: Allah has answered our prayers! Praise be forever to Allah and death to His enemies! When will the infidels leave, my friend?

Achmed: Allah shall be praised indeed, Abdul, The American President has announced that he will withdraw the troops by August of next year!

Abdul: Allah has surely provided us a light at the end of the tunnel, no doubt, but why, after all this time, do we have to wait so long to take our much deserved vacation?

Achmed: Praise Allah! That's the best part, my friend! We no longer have to wait to take vacation! Now that we know the definite date of our victory, we can relax now, take our vacation now, and wait until then. Then, we can renew our efforts unimpeded by the infidels.

Abdul: Allah is great! I get it now, my friend! All we need to do now is lay back and wait until the Americans think we have stopped fighting, and then, when they finally pull out, we can renew the fight with renewed vigor! We will destroy Israel and all the infidels! Praise Allah! We have won!


Abdul and Achmed together (while dancing around the room in euphoria): Praise Allah! Praise Allah! Praise Allah!